Two weeks after surgery with Dr. Ricci- 'The Man, aka, The Guy with the Golden Hands.' From the University of Miami.
1. The shock is wearing off. I did not consider myself a candidate for heart trouble. No red meat, hundreds of spin classes and an aversion to fast food did not buy me immunity from my end of the gene pool. I'm guessing self-induced stress did not help.
2. I know that we will all die of our last illness, I just didn't want it to be this one.
3. End of the Superman syndrome. I have always had this inherent confidence that I could hustle my way through any adversity. I could always work longer, get up earlier and juggle more projects to get it done.
Those days are dead. Better them than me.
4. The world is so worldly. Like a heightened sense of smell, in the hospital I became more attuned to just how ungodly most of the world is. Duh. It was just a sad dullness of how much people and daily activities are amputated from any sense of God.
5. And I had it 'easy.' A wonderfully supportive wife, immediate and church family; A world class Miami hospital and recovery in a four star hotel. NOTHING to complain about. We were very nearly in Belize and not Key West for our holiday. That could have been a much different picture.
6. Back on the bike. Amazing the vacuum that now exists in my life because I cannot work out normally. I did crawl back on a stationary bike the other day. Yes, I realized it was not mobile, but I felt so enabled. Can't wait to ride again!
7. I am determined not to waste this event. I have been arrested in my tracks by God. I am slowly picking up the pieces of projects that were in motion. But I am convinced the Lord wants to expand my faith in the medium and long term future and do something serious. I am emptying myself, waiting, listening and stretching. We will see.